Sports fandom etiquette

With baseball playoffs in full swing, it feels like a good time to address the behavior of sports fans. Here are a few rules that should help keep the peace in your local sports bar:

  • Avoid referring to your favorite team in the first person plural unless you actually play or played for the organization. While mostly harmless, this choice of words may tend to inflame a listener whose team is less successful. And nobody wants to hear you take credit for the success, even by accident. There are a few other possible exceptions:
    1. If you’re speaking with fellow fans of a team.


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Trophy hunter optics

Big game hunters are quick to tell you that they are the biggest contributors to nature conservation efforts. But how often do you see a hunter posing with an oversized check, instead of with an animal that they just killed?
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Room for cream

I drink my coffee black.  Almost exclusively.  The only time I add cream is when the coffee tastes bad, but I still need caffeine.

Today, at my girlfriend’s request, I ordered an “iced cinnamon coffee” at a particular pastry shop.  The server asked if I needed “room for creme.”  Since my girlfriend also takes her coffee black, I said no.

The beverage we received was closer in color to creme than it was to coffee.  Apparently, at this establishment, iced cinnamon coffee consists of ice, cinamon, coffee, and a large portion of milk.

Then why was I asked if I needed room for creme?  

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Happiness through honesty

Never tell a lie, your mother may have told you.

But you probably tell lies every day. To yourself, your co-workers, your family.

Sorry I’m late, there was an accident on the freeway.

Looks great, honey. Wouldn’t change a thing.

I’m doing the best I can.

But the real truth is that, in a general sense of things, we are not truthful. And why should we be? Dishonesty can make difficult moments easier to deal with.

It also makes us normal to be dishonest. If lying wasn’t a common activity, it wouldn’t be something our mothers would even warn us about.

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Plastic bags

Unexpected beneficiary of California's ban on plastic grocery bags? The people who make doggie poop bags. Without grocery bags to recycle, dog owners are forced to spend extra money to pick up after their pets. Or there's just going to be a lot more poop left behind on neighbor's lawns.
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